In Loving Dad

t-buot1996

I’m borrowing the lyrics of a song that describes how I feel about my Dad. The words are a tribute to his strength, his focus, his discipline, his way of loving me.

Growing up with someone like him was not all “peaches and cream”. Instead, up until my 30’s, I had a love-hate relationship with him. Two strong-willed people tend to butt heads. I feared him – just because of he was…my Father (I didn’t leave the house until I was 27 yrs. old and did not go away to school because he said NO). Yet, he was always there for me. I  made a lot of mistakes…some he made sure I didn’t make again; other times…he was silent, but just because he didn’t say anything that doesn’t mean he didn’t know. My siblings thought me spoiled. Yes, I was Daddy’s girl. Yet even then, I did not escape the wrath when he was angry with me. I was not immune to Ted Buot’s School of Beatin’s. There may have been quite a few times I took advantage of my Dad’s generosity. I defied him in every way possible. I remember when he would punish me because I did something stupid but he dried my tears after. He taught me so many things – how the change a light bulb to training dogs, on how to shoot guns, and trained me in Balintawak. He taught me life lessons.  ITed pose w stick adj“betrayed” him when I went to train with another martial arts teacher instead of training with him. That defiance was my only regret.

When he suffered a stroke in December of 2005, I was there with him. I stayed home with him for 3 years and then I burned out as a caregiver. I went away for a while but came back home for good 4 years later when Mom got sick. I took care of both of them when Mom died February of 2013. I didn’t have time to grieve because I had to take care of Dad. 

So here’s the lyrics of the song “You Raise Me Up” sang by Josh  Groban.

When I am down and, oh, my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

(Refrain x2)
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up to more than I can be.

There is no life – no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

(Refrain x2)

You raise me up to more than I can be.

Dad and me

I love you, Daddy. I miss you. I know that you are watching over me, but sometimes I wish I can feel your hugs and hear you tell me “Daddy’s here” just one more time.

About mbfavazza

Reimagining Life.
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